“Spouse” by Shobha De

Read in December 2006.

This is a self-help/informational book on the subject of Indian weddings. Particularly timely for me to read it during the trip to India where I met my fiance and proposed to her (don’t you think?). De discusses several aspects of her marriage, of the society she lives in (wealthy modern Mumbai). and her thoughts on the younger generation (that’s me in this context, by the way).

The writing is easy to follow, almost too casual, it seems many times that you are having a very one-sided conversation with the author. However, the chapter breakdowns are reasonable and they stick to the point. She gets to the point pretty quickly in each chapter, re-inforces her standpoint with a few examples, and then moves onto the next topic. She rarely spends time to discuss opposing viewpoints.

Her opinion on the verious facets of marriage are well thought-out and her views, though modern, allow for some traditional / conservative behavior to creep through. Her discussion of modern-day Indian divorce is personal and heartfelt, and she is honeest up front about having gone through a divorce herself.

Unless you are interested in the workings of an Indian marriage (and seriously, with Indians slowly eclipsing the other cultures with an ever-increasing population, everyone should be interested in the inner-workings of an Indian marriage) this book is a good place to start. It’s view of modern-day marriage seems accurate to me and much like what I went through. The only chapter that confused me was when De wrote about how a mother-in-law should act, considering she herself is not one. Her thoughts on this chapter are less succint, and it is clear that this is more idealism than reality.

However, interesting quick book to read, recommend it. Read more about it here.